Hello, my beautiful and incredulous shoppers. I have new wares for you today.
May I present this fantastic, phenomenal, awe-inspiring, and Baltimore’s best kept secret – empty battery box!
(Limit one per customer.)
This empty battery box was gifted to me by an unknown coworker sometime before I got in this morning.
I don’t know who left me this belated Christmas present, but unfortunately, due to a problem I’ve had with batteries ever since childhood, I’m not able to keep it.
Who is this cunning Secret Santa?
My embarrassing preoccupations are your gain! For the low, low price of only $11.99, you can become the new proud owner of this stylish alkaline holder.
But! You don’t have to use it for just batteries. Indeed, it can be used to store a great variety of things.
Don’t leave home without it!
Buy it now! Before I do something weird.
– Definitely Not Ana